The alcoholic creates around himself what I describe as the web of chaos. Alcoholism is a family disease,it affects every family member.The family is thus caught in the web as they attempt to defend the alcoholic and protect him from the consequences of his illness. This maybe unemployment, bankruptcy, divorce, imprisonment.
Those who love an alcoholic will attempt to protect that or whom they love.The mind under the influence of alcohol produces some archaic disconnection. Thought processes are engulfed by a toxic tide that obliterates everything but the persistent desire for alcohol. It could be described as dispossessed agony, which is somehow connected with suffocation of the self.An alcoholic posses cruelty that is endured by all and every family member, this cruelty is destructive to the family unit, the structure of the family dissolves. An alcoholic has the capacity to desecrate everything and everyone who loves him.
Addiction units offer respite for families, children feel safe. This is a rare commodity for those who are caught in mayhem of alcoholism. The question often arises as to whether or not addiction is a state of being, not aching that you do but a thing that you are, like being old or being white , or being child.Many within the profession do not share this view. there is almost certainly a predisposition to this condition.A stress factor of some sort or another triggers the condition and brings the addiction to life.The stress factor is what needs to be discovered.This factor causes a descent into a spiral of despair unless a change can be enacted. It is important to prevent family disintegration, which is the most common effect of alcohol abuse. The children of addicts are drawn into this web of chaos.This is the saddest part of alcoholism. The results are clear, the child will do everything he can to take care of and protect the alcoholic from the consequences of their actions. Thus the child assumes the role of the parent and takes on responsibilities that he has neither the mental nor emotional maturity to deal with. Often this damage is never healed.
It is important therefore to provide units and support structures that these children can go . places where they can feel less isolated, less alone and less fright
Paradise Lost by author Mollie Bach (Lord) 
Hi Mollie. May I ask how you survived losing both parents to suicide before you were 12? I barely survived my mother’s suicide when I was 16.
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Dear Anna,
This is a huge question. I was a mess for years screwed up every relationship and jobs were ok until I was rewarded or told I was good- that was it then I destroyed the job. It was all too do with value. I thought my parents didn’t think i was good enough to go on living for so I must be crap. However, I had a rich aunt and after I took an overdose for which I was hospitalised she agreed to pay for me to go into analysis. My analyst was a Jungian- he was brilliant,I was with him for six years.He saved me in every way a person can be saved. I had two disastrous marriages,my first husband broke my jaw. I never liked him but I needed some one to hate- he filled the bill. This was before analysis.I could go on. Now I am ok. I do hope you can find a way through. Parental suicide is hard to survive- you have to find a way to love yourself that is the key to the whole thing, analysis gave me that.Hope this helps.Mollie.
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