PARADISE LOST

‘I never knew you loved her. I didn’t know you loved her. Why did you have to love her?She  was a drunk.She was vile,but you had to love her didn’t you? Why didn’t you take me away from her, leave her divorce her- anything but no, you just stayed and stayed and stayed. To stay that was always your mantra. You could escape to work. Never mind if she left me in the cupboard without food or drink. I was unable to escape.I was so frightened I used to wet myself. I wanted to be with you.You didn’t want that. i wanted to be with you.’

‘ What happened Judith, tell me what happened’Sam said softly.

” You happened, mum happened, I happened. Why did you have  child with a woman like that?- How could you?

‘ She wasn’t like that when I met her. I’ve explained to you, after Harry died she changed;she never got over Harry’s death. She loved him so much.’

‘ Claude told me about Van Gogh’s mother….the mourning mother syndrome. I was never good enough. I wasn’t Harry. She wanted something, someone else not me.’

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